Gravediggers and Gunslingers
by Jizabel Disraeli
Summary: It's tough being a carnie. Something only to be looked at. Especially when you're pulled out of your element. Rated T for now. AkuRoku/Zemyx in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Beforehand A/N: Hey guys… haven't written anything in a long time. Believe it or not…. I had an entire binder full of one shots I've written over the past year that I've been meaning to type up… and I accidentally threw it away… . I know I'm so mad…..

Anyways, You all know how scatter minded I can get with updating and writing new chapters…. Bear with me… I'm in the middle of packing and moving into my college dorms…. Just keep sending me reviews and reminding me to update and I will as often as possible.

Ily!

~*~*~

The blonde stood at the wrot iron gate, topped with barbed wire, at the brick monster layed out before him. Another year. Another hell ridden, dramatic year.

Roxas had been going to Twilight Town Prep since he entered high school 2 years ago. He was entering Junior year this year and his younger siblings, Namine and Kairi, were the fresh meat on campus. Roxas felt forry for them. The twins had no idea what was coming.

Roxas had barely taken two steps onto campus before he heard his name being called to him. He turned to be met by an explosion of brown hair in his face, and his back slamming against the fence.

"ROXAAAAS!!!" the voice rang again.

"Yes, hello, Sora" Roxas grunted as he pushed the sophomore off of him. "What did I tell you about adding extra sugar to your cereal?" He continued his walk up to the front steps. Sora completely ignored the question.

"So who's your homeroom, Roxas?"

"Why does it matter? I'm a grade higher than you so you wouldn't be in my class with me."

"I'm just curious," Sora said, his excitement slightly crushed.

Sora had been following Roxas around since the beginning of the previous year. On the first day of school, every year, a sophomore was assigned to an incoming freshman to show them around for the first day and let them in on how everything works. Roxas had reluctantly been assigned to Sora and Sora has taken it upon himself to declare him and Roxas best friends for life or "biffles" as he loves to say. However, if you ask Roxas, he'll say something along the lines of "It's a part of my punishment."

Sora kept blabbering as they made the rest of the short journey to the front steps. And that's when he saw them.

Three new students. Everyone in the courtyard seemed to be staring at the trio. It wasn't often that new students were enrolled at TTPrep after freshman year. And these boys were definitely not freshmen. And they were definitely not the run-of-the-mill teenagers either. They sat in a circle on the widest step, consumed in their own goings on. The two that were visible looked very different. One was blonde with a sort of mohawk or mullet, Roxas couldn't decide which. He had a large smile on his face and was patting his hands on his knees to some sort of beat. The other has strange violet hair, hanging over one eye. He was much more solemn. He sat completely still his eyes fixed downcast. The third was the most intriguing looking, even though his back was turned to Roxas. His hair was like a fiery explosion. It was so shiny… Roxas wanted to touch it. He seemed to have an acoustic guitar in his lap. Ah, so that's what the beat the blonde was drumming was for.

Roxas heard a distant bell ring in his head, then felt someone tugging on his jacket. He came rushing back to the present and realized that everyone was leaving to go to their first class of the new year. Roxas looked down at the trio as he walked past to see the red head packing away his guitar. He then turned and looked up, his eyes momentarily connecting with Roxas'. Roxas let out a small gasp. Such green eyes… The red head then seemed to dismiss whatever was going through his mind and went back to packing his guitar case.

Who…. was that boy?

Roxas arrived at his homeroom. Mr. Leonhart said his schedule.

"Roxas, over here!" called Roxas' friend Hayner, motioning to the seat next to him. "How was your summer, man?"

"Fine."

"That's cool," Hayner was way too excited. Why was everyone so damn energetic on the first day of school? "You'll never believe what I did in Hollow Bastion! I…"

The bell ten rang and Roxas took his seat and Hayner stopped talking, not wanting to make a bad impression with this teacher. He looked like a hard ass. That scar was enough to intimidate even Hayner.

A quick scan of the room revealed none of the three newcomers. Roxas was actually rather disappointed. Not that he was surprised tho. He never thought that the red head would be in his class. He looked way too old. The other two, maybe. But not the red head.

Mr. Leonhart went on to introduce the class to all of the standard rules. No gum in class, no smoking on campus. Blah blah blah. He'd be hearing it in every class for the rest of the day he was sure.

Roxas had drifted off drawing swirls on the desk with his finger tips when he was snapped out of his day dream by the classroom door opening.

"Sorry, the principle wanted to have a meeting with us" said the boy with the blonde Mohawk, handing Mr. Leonhart a slip of paper.

"Sure. Take and empty seat. I don't really care where," instructed Mr. Leonhart.

The blonde came further into the room and was followed by the violet haired boy and…. The red head. The last boy in held himself like he already owned the school. He lazily looked around the room and tightened his grip on his guitar case. They took the seats directly behind Roxas and Hayner. Roxas felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.

"Everyone this is, "Mr. Leonhart glanced at the paper in his hand. "Demyx, Zexion, and Axel. Be nice. Also, Mr. Axel, I expect you to keep that thing in it's case. I don't want any serenading during class."

The expression in "Axel's" face didn't alter at Mr. Leonhart's words.

Hayner turned around in his seat. "Hey guys, where ya from?"

"Turn back around, kid" came a voice from directly behind Roxas. Axel was the one sitting behind Roxas… his voice was so gruff. "I know that we're the new play things but if you know what's good for you, you'll forget that we exist." Demyx and Zexion just looked on silently.

Hayner turned back around and no one even looked at the 'new play things' for the rest of class.

~*~*~

A/N: Just a rough set up for the story to come. To be completely honest, I don't even know where this is going yet with this…. Like no idea where I'm going with it. If anyone has any ideas feel free to let me know ^_^


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Ah ha! I finally came up with a basic story line! It's kinda dumb…. But hopefully it'll be enough to keep you interested.

~*~*~

The word spread pretty fast about Mr. Leonhart's first period class. About Axel's reaction to Hayner's welcome. The rumors also started pouring out.

"I've never seen them in Twilight Town"

"That Axel is way to old to be a High School junior. He hast to at least be in his 20's."

"I heard they all came from some asylum."

"I heard the office say something about them being from Hollow Bastion."

"I heard Axel killed a man."

Roxas was getting tired of everyone's fascination with these kids. So they seemed…. a little different. But some of these things that people were saying were just obscene.

At lunch, Roxas sat with his friends Hayer, Pence, and Olette (and Sora at the end of the table trying to butt in every now and then and being ignored every time). The three new boys sat by the window, they seemed to be in a heated argument. Axel vs Demyx and Zexion. Although their words were inaudible, they're body movement were very noticeable. At one point, Demyx grabbed Axel's hand and it appeared that he was trying to pull off one of Axel's wool, fingerless gloves. Axel yanked his arm back and gave the other two one last gut-wretching glare before storming away.

"You have to start over someday!" Demyx yelled before Axel had exited the swinging glass doors.

Start over? Start over from what? What was up with these guys?

And that certainly wouldn't help the rumors….

~*~*~

The first week of school was as dull as ever. Teacher after teacher stressing how important it is to do your homework and to study for tests. Review from last year. It was all too easy. Roxas now greatly regretted that he had accepted to take advanced classes.

Axel had gone home that first day after lunch. But he found from his name being called as absent that he was in Roxas' painting class. Demyx and Zexion were in his composition class but he made no attempt to speak to them and they kept mainly to themselves as well.

On the second day, Axel returned but seemed to be keeping away from Demyx and Zexion, which was strange because Roxas had gotten the impression that they had all been friends before they showed up at TTPrep. Axel wore those black gloves, everyday Roxas noticed. And he also seemed to have a nervous habit of rubbing his palms together.

One day, in art class, the assignment was to use different shades of one color mixed with white. While getting up to rinse his brush, Roxas stole a peak at Axel's canvas. It was simple lines of white red, and slightly darker red.

Weird…

~*~*~

"You know," Hayner said, almost off handedly. "I feel like I've seen them before somewhere."

"Who?" Roxas asked, flipping through his calculus book.

"Those new kids."

"I really wish people would give it a rest about them." Roxas settled on a page and he began doing his homework that was due the next period. "I don't know what the big deal is."

"This is a small school, Rox," Hayner explained. "Everyone wants to everything about everybody. The freshman spill themselves in the first few days trying to find someone who thinks they're cool and will accept them. But those three. No one knows anything other than their names. It's human nature to be curious. And the fact that they won't let anything get out makes everyone enthused in the chase."

Roxas nodded and Hayner was silent for a while.

"I remember!" Hayner exclaimed.

"Remember what…"

"Where I saw them! Well, saw Axel at least."

"Where?" Roxas pretended to not be interested even though he was dying to know.

"In Hollow Bastion," Hayner explained. "There were fliers posted everywhere. Some sort of traveling carnival. I didn't get to go because it had gone through town the week before I went. The posters were just leftovers. It looked really sketchy though. There were a few people on the posters. But Axel was definitely one of them."

Roxas chuckled. "So he's a circus freak?" He hadn't heard that rumor yet. It certainly wasn't anything as bad as killing a man.

"I don't know…. I only saw him on a piece of paper. I didn't pay much attention to the details since it had already left."

Hayner was once again silent, having said his piece. Roxas was now rather eager to get to art class.

~*~*~

He stood behind Axel, watching him paint. It had been over a week and nothing on the canvas had changed. It looked like Axel was continuously going over it with the same colors.

"Circus tent?" Roxas mused, quite proud of himself for figuring out what the painting represented.

Axel's brush stopped moving. He was perfectly still and Roxas wondered if the red head had even heard him.

"Fuck off," was all he replied, returning to his brush strokes.

"Is that it?" Roxas let a smile twitch on his lips, letting his ego get the best of him. " So I can finally put those rumors to a rest."

Axel's brush stopped again. He turned around on his bench, looking up at Roxas.

"Look kid," he growled under his breath. "I don't know what you know, or how you've come to know it, but leave me alone. I'm not here to make friends. In fact, if it was up to me, I wouldn't even be here. So please, just leave me alone and pretend I don't exist."

He turned back around and Roxas just stared at him for a moment. He then went back to his own seat to dwell on what had just happened.

~*~*

A couple periods later, after composition, Roxas was meted outside the classroom door by Demyx, Zexion standing close behind, but no Axel.

"Roxas is it?" asked Demyx.

"Yeah… but how did you—"

"Don't worry about it," Demyx replied. "Where did hear about what you mentioned to Axel?"

"What?" Roxas felt very awkward. "All I said was that his painting looked like a circus tent."

"Just tell us who."

"My friend Hayner," Roxas answered. "Why?"

But Demyx and Zexion had already turned to leave.

~*~*~

After school, Hayner was waiting by the front gate.

"What's up?" Roxas asked casually.

"That new guy Demyx talked to me today," Hayner replied. "He said not to mention that carnival flyer or Axel to anyone ever again…"

~*~*~

A/N: Oooooooh really crappy dramatic angst. I'll update when ah feelz liek it.


	3. Chapter 3

Roxas was not proud to say that he was turning into one of the people that he had been prior undermining. Every time he saw Axel, Demyx, or Zexion, he wanted to know more. It was obvious that they were trying to protect some secret. And everyone knows that then someone has a secret, people will do anything to try and figure out what that secret is.

He had even taken it upon himself to go home and do some research. He tried keywords such as "Hollow Bastion, carnival, circus, Axel, etc" in all sorts of combinations. He even added in "freak show" at one point but wasn't surprised when he once again got no help. Besides, they didn't look like any sort of freaks.

However, he didn't mention his curious research to Hayner or he knew that it would be thrown in his face that he was a hypocrite, which Roxas agreed with but didn't feel like hearing it from anyone else. His pride was weird that way.

For the next few weeks, Roxas tried his hardest not to pay any attention to the trio. Most everyone else had died down over the excitement of their arrival and, if they didn't, they most certainly kept it to themselves. Every so often, Roxas would take a guilty glance at one of the three but it never lasted more fore than a second. He did make some other subtle discoveries though.

Whether he wanted to or not, Roxas would find himself eavesdropping on the conversations taking place in the row behind him during home room. From what he could tell, all of their personalities were polar opposites. Zexion rarely spoke, and when he did, it was only a word or two or maybe an agreement. Demyx, on the other hand, never shut up. For some reason though, Mr. Leonhart never got angry for him talking during class. And then there was Axel, Axel was somewhere in between. He spoke no where as much as Demyx but more than Zexion. His voice though…. Ever word that slithered out of his lips were dripping with venom. Even when he was speaking of neutral subjects, it still sounded like all words were uttered with such intense hatred.

Although the three spoke often, Roxas got no exceptionally important information from them. Their conversations often circled around homework assignments or, with Axel, what unfortunate students got in his way that day and were told off only to run away with their tale between their legs.

Every so often the name "Cloud" would be mentioned. He seemed to be some sort of caregiver to the boys. Roxas could take little more from the conversations though.

~*~*~

A new project had been assigned in painting class. They were supposed to paint an animal of their choice in different stages of complexity. They were to start out with the full, detailed animal, and end up with nothing more than geometric shaped vaguely representing the original creature.

A few days into the project, Roxas was daring enough to sneak a peak at Axel's canvas on his way to the sink. It was very good. And it was…. An ant eater…. Definitely not a circus animal. Well this would certainly be no help in his investigation.

~*~*~

Later that same day, Roxas was sitting in the back courtyard overlooking the vast forest that the school foundation was built upon. It was a shame the think about all of the trees that had been knocked down so many years ago to build this place. This place could have been flourishing with wildlife and nature. Instead it was a prison for teenagers.

He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a crumpled package of cigarettes. Only two left… dammit. He'd have to get one of the seniors to buy him another pack after school. He stuck one between his lips and lit up. He took a drag and his head was instantly swimming. Roxas smiled and felt his muscles relax. He had gotten over the fear of getting caught smoking on campus long ago. His euphoria wasn't for long though. The door to his right slammed open and an explosion of fiery locks stepped out.

Axel looked around and ended up looking down at Roxas. The blonde's heart raced in a mixture of fear and fascination. He stood up, ready to put out his cig and go back inside.

"Naw, man, stay," said Axel's gruff voice. "Just out for a smoke. Not gonna be bothering anyone."

Roxas sat back down and took another drag to try and calm himself once again. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Axel rummaging though his patch jacket pockets. He mumbled a couple obscenities under his breath and his shoulders slumped.

"Um hey…"

Roxas looked up.

"You got a smoke? I'll throw one your way if I ever run into you out here again."

Wordlessly, Roxas threw him his pack and the one remaining cig in it. Oh well, it was almost the end of the day. He'd make it until he could give a senior his money.

"Thanks, man."

Axel lit up with his own red lighter, made some jumbled comment about them being girly cigarettes, and leaned against the concrete wall behind him, exhaling a heavy cloud of smoke. Neither made a move to interact with the other.

"So," Axel said, his cancer stick almost to the filter. "Circus tent huh? How'd you come to that conclusion?"

"Lucky guess," Roxas replied, being very careful with his words. Careful not to say too much but to be sure to answer the question.

"I know that kid told you about hearing about us in Hollow Bastion. I wasn't in the Hollow Bastion show… but apparently they never took me off the fliers—cheap bastards."

Roxas was completely silent. Finally, he was getting something!

"What's you name, kid?"

"I'm Roxas…"

"Well, Roxas," a ghost of a smile appeared to make it onto Axel's face, but it could have been Roxas' imagination. "You're a good, astute kid. I have no problem with you. I just don't want you getting dragged into any of our mess, alright? Thanks for the smoke."

And with that Axel crushed his cigarette against the wall behind him and went back inside as the bell was about to ring for their break to be over.

~*~*~

A/N: And the plot thickens. Thickens like molasses… I don't know if that's good or bad. It just sounded good at the time. Just so you all know, I won't normally be updating this much in future chapters. For the next few days-week I may a couple times a day because I'm grounded for being a bad girl and have nothing else better to do. Just don't be sore if I don't update as quickly.


	4. Chapter 4

The chains on Axel's heavy leather boots announced his arrival to homeroom as they did every other morning. Someone was different this time, though. When the red head passed Roxas, he looked down at the blonde and smirked. He then continued following behind Demyx and Zexion to their seats in the back row.

Further into class, as Roxas was drawing an elephant into his doodle filled notebook, he felt a tap on his shoulder. Before he could turn around a note was dropped in his lap. Roxas turned around to look at Axel, but the older boy's attention was locked on his calculus homework and he gave no notice to Roxas' attention.

He turned back around and quietly opened the note, sure to keep it under his desk so that Mr. Leonhart wouldn't notice and read the note to the class like he had on occasions in the precious weeks.

_Meet me in the back courtyard during your break after 7__th__ period. I'll pay you back that cigarette._

It wasn't signed but Roxas knew who it was from.

~*~*~

Roxas told his7th period teacher that he had to go to the nurse in order to get out of class early. He didn't know why he was so excited, he just was. He busted out the back door and looked around but no Axel. He sat there for 10 minutes until the bell rang. Still no Axel. He waited 10 minutes more. Still no Axel. As soon as he convinced himself that the note was a joke and that Axel and his friends were laughing about it as he sat there, the door opened. Axel stepped out and made his way over to Roxas without making eye contact. His hair was wet and, even though it was slicked back against his head, it's spikes were still quite distinct.

"Sorry to have kept you waiting. Had swimming in Gym class. Needed to rinse out the chlorine. It makes my hair all frizzy."

Roxas simply nodded.

"As promised." Axel handed Roxas a cigarette, then slipped one into his own mouth. "None of that girly shit you smoke."

Roxas let the comment go and thanked Axel.

A few minutes of silence, broken only by the birds chirping in the trees before them.

"You know Roxas. I like you. I don't know why. But I like you. Someone about it is different from everyone else. You're one of the few people at this school that didn't try to become best friends with me. Why?"

"I don't know." Roxas shrugged. "I don't take that much notice to you guys really."

Lie.

"Well thanks. It's refreshing to know that someone here isn't obsessed with us."

Lie.

There was silence once again, only to be broken by Roxas.

"This things on your face," he mused, reffering to the two upside down triangles under each of Axel's acid green eyes. "What are they?"

Axel seemed to hesitate.

"Oh they're, uh, they're tattoos. I got them when I joined, uh, when I joined…. forget about it."

"The circus," Roxas finished for him.

Axel's gaze flashed up at Roxas. His eyes were smoldering. But they roon cooled and the red head relaxed.

"Yeah," he said quietly. "I guess you could call it that. More like a manipulation if you ask me…. I don't want to talk about it though. Maybe I'll tell you someday if we ever do become friends. It's dangerous to be talking about. So drop it. And if you'd be so kind as not to mention where I'm from to anyone else."

"Yeah, Demyx already told me and Hayner about that."

Axel nodded. "Wouldn't put it past him. He's just looking out for us."

"Well… how old are you then?" Roxas asked, in an attempt to change the subject. "You must be over 18 if you have a tattoo."

"No, I'm 17. I did them myself."

For some reason Roxas didn't believe him… Axel was definitely hiding a lot.

Before any more conversation could take place, the door behind them opened and Mr. Leonhart stepped out. He looked over at the boys and his expression became very stern.

"No smoking on campus," he scolded. "Detention today after school for the both of you. My room. Directly after 8th period."

He then continued on his way to the teacher's parking lot to do whatever it was he had come outside to do.

~*~*~

Roxas sat down in detention in his usual seat in Mr. Leonhart's room. Sora came in soon after and sat next to Roxas.

"Hey, Roxaaaaas," Sora squealed, way too excited to be being punished "What you in for?"

"Smoking on campus…" Roxas wished the little bother would go away.

"I told you you'd get caught for that eventually. I'm here for gum."

Roxas didn't respond. Leave it up to Sora to get busted for the lamest things.

Out of the corner of his eye, Roxas saw Axel enter the room. He didn't look up though. He wanted to give Axel his privacy, he seemed to like that.

However, instead of sitting behind Roxas, Axel sat next to him. He didn't make any move to interact though. He simply sat down he bag and put his head down on the desk, facing away from Roxas.

Mr. Leonhart then entered and shut the door behind him.

"Two hours. You can work or you can sleep. No talking. No note passing. No eating or drinking. Most of you already know how this goes so I won't go on."

He then took a seat at his desk and started grading the tests he's administered his homeroom the day before.

Roxas spent the first thirty minutes finishing the elephant that he had begun doodling earlier that day. He felt a tap on his arm and looked up to see Axel passing him a note. He took it and looked up to the front of the room to notice that Mr. Leonhart wasn't there. He then looked back down at his desk and noticed that the folded piece of paper was gone.

"Didn't I say no note passing?" Came Mr. Leonhart's from behind Roxas.

He could here the paper being unfolded and dreaded what Mr. Leonhart might read.

Mr. Leonhart cleared his throat. "Meet me outside the room and get some coffee after this?" he read. "Please, Axel. Please refrain on asking Roxas on a date until after class.

The other students in the room chuckled and Roxas felt his face burn up. He sole a sideways glance at Axel. The red head's eyebrows were raised. He was waiting for a response.

Roxas nodded.

~*~*~

A/N: I went back and re-uploaded the previous 3 chapters. Apparently the dividers weren't showing up so I went back and replaced them with "~*~*~" Hope this clears up some confusion. And don't worry. Axel's not going to be some sort of circus clown. His, Demyx, and Zexion's stories are much more dramatic and complex than that. Not to mention I hate clowns so I wouldn't write about them…

Also, if you can't tell… No. I'm not very fond of Sora. So I make him out to be REALLLLLY annoying. ttfn


	5. Chapter 5

After Mr. Leonhart dismessed the detention class, Roxas stood outside in the hallway as Mr. Leonhart scold Axel for passing the note. After a few minutes, Axel emerged.

"I have to go tell Demyx and Zexion that I'm not going home with them today. I'll meet you at the front gate." And with that, Axel took off down the hallway and disappeared around a corner.

Roxas walked by Sora, who was at his locker, and ignored the boy when he started chattering about what all he did during detention. When would Sora realize that no one cared about what he had to say?

Roxas wasn't waiting long at the front gate until he felt Axel brush up beside him and motion to follow.

"Why do you want to—" Roxas began but was interupted

"Let me introduce myself," Axel said airily as they walked to the coffee shop down the street. "My name is Axel. My parents died before I could remember. I have no blood relatives that I know of. I'm bisexual. I'm a vegetarian. Yes, my hair is naturally red. My favorite color is green. And I like ant eaters. Your turn."

"Uh," Roxas didn't quite know how to respond. "I—I'm Roxas. I'm 16. I have twin younger sisters but they don't look alike. Um…." He tried to remember some of the things Axel had said to supply his own answers. "My favorite color is blue. And, uh, I'm gay."

"Well obviously," Axel said. It almost seemed like he chuckled but it could have been the natural gruffnedd of is voice. "Sorry but I've noticed how you look at girls," he continued, reacting to Roxas' angered look. "Absolutely nooo interest whatsoever."

They arrived at the shop and took their place in the always lengthy line.

"I—I don't understand," Roxas said. "What's with the sudden 'Hello, my name is?'"

"Well," Axel thoughtfully chewed on a straw he grabbed on the way in. "I never formally introduced myself. I figured that if we were going to be friends then we might as well know a little about each other.

The each ordered their respected drinks—Roxas a pumpkin spice latte and Axel a cinnamon apple hot chocolate—and took their seats at a near by table for two.

"You're not very good at interacting with others are you?" Roxas mused.

"How could you tell?"

Roxas shrugged. "You're very defensive… and just seem very uncomfortable."

"Mmm" Axel took a sip after blowing on the liquid for the past few minutes to cool it. "Never really had friends. I was in an orphanage for most of my childhood. Kids thought I was weird…. Liked to pull me hair… then I ended up in foster care. And… well… that just didn't end well in the least. And all the time after that I was always traveling. Had no time to me friends. I guess my only real friends are Demyx and Zexion. And I don't really even know how that happened. They're not the sort of people I would normally gravitate to. I normally gravitate to people like... well…"

"Me," Roxas supplied.

"Well yeah I guess. You're…. quiet. But I know that there is something going on up in your head. You're complex. It interests me somehow."

There was silence for a moment.

"Demyx and Zexion," Roxas pried. "Were they in the circus with you?"

"First of all it was a carnival. Not a circus. No where near as plush. And yeah. I met them there."

"Um... Axel," Roxas was hesitant. "What exactly did you guys do there? What was so bad about the place?"

Axel's grip tightened on the Styrofoam cup. Roxas would afraid that the scalding liquid would explode from it.

"Listen, Roxas. Things happened there to me that would put most people in a nut house. When I think about it I should probably be in one too. I did some bad shit… which landed me into some even worse shit." He tugged on his fingerless gloves that Roxas had never seen him without. "If you knew… god if you knew…."

"I want to know, Axel. If you told me I could help."

"No, Roxas," Axel shook his head, his shoulders tensing. "You couldn't help… you couldn't bring him back…"

Suddenly, Axel stood and almost ran form the café, leaving Roxas sitting alone at the table very very confused.

~*~*~

The next day at school Axel came to class as cocky as ever. But he gave no notice to Roxas today. Roxas surprised himself by how annoyed it made him. So much for being friends.

After 7th period, Roxas went out back for a smoke—having learned nothing of the consequences it received the day before— and wasn't surprised to so Axel on the stone bench doing the same. Roxas sat at the adjacent bench, pretending not to pay attention to the red head. It seemed like hours went by.

"So…" Roxas mused. "Who's Cloud?"

Axel froze, his cigarette halfway to his lips. "What?"

"Cloud," Roxas repeated. "I hear you guys talking about him a lot during homeroom."

Axel was silent for a moment. "Cloud is Demyx's older brother. We live with him."

New information. "Oh, so you three live together?"

"Yes."

It was obvious that Axel would like to be done talking. But Roxas wasn't.

"Listen, Axel," Roxas said quietly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything yesterday. I don't know what you've been through, although I admit that I'd like to. You said you wanted to be friends with me. Friends let friends in. They tell each other stuff. And they help each other get through the tough times. I wasn't trying to make you angry. So I don't really think you have any real reason to be pissed at me.

"Fuck, Roxas…" It was barely like Axel said anything. Only words taken form an exhale. "You said it yourself. I'm not really a people person… I don't know how to let people in. I barely even spill anything to Demyx or Zexion and they're the only people I know who I could really call friends."

"Well, Axel. Maybe it's time you changed that."

Axel turned his head and made eye contact with Roxas for the first time that day.

"Meet me by the gate after school. I'll take you back to our place. I'll tell you my story.'"

~*~*~

A/N: Oooooh are you all excited?!?!? I'M EXCITED!!!!!!! It's gonna be kinda hard to write Axel's story tho…I have his all planned out. Demyx and Zexion, on the other hand… not so much… bits and pieces but no where as much as Axel. It might take a few chapters to get them all in there. Review and I'll get them out faster!!!


	6. Chapter 6

On his way to the front gate after school to meet Axel, Roxas was stopped by Demyx and Zexion. It was to the point now that Roxas didn't expect to ever see one without the other somewhere close behind. He wondered if they even had all of the same classes…

"Axel is at his locker so he'll be a few minutes," Demyx said. "In the mean time, we'll walk with you out front. I'd like to talk to have a little talk with you."

Roxas wondered how come Demyx always seemed so happy and easy going when around his two friends but, when talking to Roxas, seemed so serious and anal. But he agreed to hear Demyx out nontheless.

"Axel seems to have taken some sort of liking to you," Demyx started.

_Well duh….. already figured that out…_

"I just want to tell you… not to hurt him. He's been through a lot. It's been a while since he met someone… who he actually wants to tell his story to. I don't want him to regret it."

Roxas stared blankly. "Um… sure?"

What was with these people? Why's everything they say so incredibly confusing? At least everything would be explained shortly…

Axel was waiting for them. He looked anxious.

"We'll meet you at home, Ax" Demyx said. He and Zexion walked off, speaking to each other in hushed tones.

"Hey," Axel muttered.

"Hey," Roxas responded, equally as quiet.

"Our place isn't far. Half a mile maybe."

Roxas nodded. "Yeah that's fine. I don't have a problem walking distances."

"Barely a distance," Axel almost chuckled.

The walk was spent mostly in silence. Axel seemed terrified for some reason. What could be so bad about his past? Unless the rumors were true… and he really had killed a man. No no, that's silly.

The house was small, but looked cozy enough. The white paint was chipping, but in an antique sort of way. This was obviously one of the first houses built in Twilight Town. Just thinking about all of the people who must have lived her made Roxas anxious for information.

_No, bad, Roxas. Don't you remember the saying? Curiosity killed the cat. You're need for fact will be the end of you someday…. Leave it be._

The two walked through the iron fence that guarded the house, the gate making a satisfying, homely squeak. Roxas heard it squeak again a moment later and assumed that it was Demyx and Zexion following up close behind.

Axel opened the front door to the place without knocking. Made sense, he did live here after all. The living room wasn't very furnished. A cushy looking couch, a couple mismatched arm chairs, a table, and a TV on a stand were all that the room held to offer. A Playstation controller peaked its way out of the TV stand's cabinet which led Roxas to believe that the entire system was attached.

"Cloud, we're home!" Demyx called. Roxas jumped a little, he hadn't heard the other two boys enter the room.

"Kay," came a response from upstairs. "Axel, would you please come up for a second? I wanna talk to you."

Axel groaned. Threw his backpack on one of the arm chairs and trudged upstairs to answer the call.

"He's not in trouble is he?" Roxas asked Demyx.

Demyx shook his head. "I called Cloud earlier to tell him you were coming over. He's just giving Axel the whole shpeal about 'you're sure you want anyone else to know? Blah blah blahbity blah.' Cloud doesn't know Axel like we do but he still has a fatherly instinct for him. But, he also hasn't gotten a grasp on the fact yet that Axel is _always_ sure."

Roxas nodded and stood there, clutching his back pack strap so hard that his knuckles turned white. He looked around the room, taking in what little there was to take in. Zexion sat in the arm chair not occupied by Axel's backpack and Demyx sat at his feet.

"You can sit down you know."

Roxas was startled to find that it was Zexion who had spoken. He then found how silly it was to be so shocked. Of course Zexion could talk. He saw him talk to Demyx and Axel all the time. His words were just never directed towards Roxas himself so he wasn't quite used to the quiet voice yet.

"Well?"

Roxas realized that he was still standing dumbly and plopped down on the nearest piece of furniture. He unconsciously scooted as far against the armrest, trying to take up as much space as possible. For some reason, he felt the environment to be rather hostile.

A few minutes went by and no Axel showed up.

"Cloud must be giving him one of his role model speeches again…." Demyx sighed. "Well... as long as we've got you here alone and since it seems like you're going to be around from now on, let us let you in on our stories. Since Axel will be serving his monologue later we might as well join in on the fun." A grin spread from ear to ear.

"Uh… sure…" Roxas replied.

"Great!" Demyx clapped his hands. He was way to excited over this. "It's not often that someone is here to sit down and just… you know… listen. Cloud is always holed upstairs in his room doing got knows what, and Axel and Zexion and I pretty much already know everything about each other."

Roxas nodded.

"Well, well, where to start? Well, me and Zexion have been bestest of buds since we can remember. We did everything as kids. Played dress up, had tea parties, etc."

"Aren't those sort of girl things?" Roxas asked, hesitantly.

"Demyx has always been this special," Zexion muttered.

"Zexy, shut up. You did it to."

"Not willingly. Now just get back to the story, Demyx."

"Fine. God." Demyx took a moment to re-gather himself. "Well, when I was 12, my parents got a divorce. I went to go live with my dad and had to move away from Zexion. It was the hardest thing of my life."

"What about Cloud?" Roxas asked. "Where did he go?"

"Cloud was 22 at the time. I know, he's such a geezer right?" Demyx giggled a little. "He was from my mom's first marriage so he was way older. He had already graduated college and moved out to Twilight Town at that point. Back to me though. I lived with my dad for a couple of years. Me and Zexion wrote letters to each other but it wasn't enough. I needed him back. I ran away."

"When you were 14?!" Roxas couldn't believe it.

"Yeah. I hitchhiked my way back home. I didn't tell my mom that I was there. She had already remarried and had another baby—the skank—and wouldn't want me around. She'd just send me right back to my father. My only priority was Zexion."

"He broke in through my bedroom window," Zexion said, taking over for Demyx, who was not very happy about his spotlight being stolen.

"My story!" Demyx whined. "But yes, I climbed the drainpipe and made a very sneaky entrance… after falling twice and bruising my ass to where sitting was the most pain I'd ever felt. I don't even remember how I did it, but I somehow convinced Zexion to run away with me. We went to Hollow Bastion and pretty much lived on the streets. But we didn't mind as long as we had each other. After a few months of living off table scraps and sleeping in shelters, a carnival came through town. It was nothing special. A few rides, a freak show, and a stunt show. We snuck in to the place and it was the first time since we'd gotten to Hollow Bastion that we had anything that even resembled fun. It was my first time on a ferris wheel and there was a bearded lady and a strong man and a fire dancer."

"Axel," Zexion supplied.

_Axel was a fire dancer? _Roxas chuckled on the inside. _Rather fitting._

"We ended up getting caught sneaking in again the next night," Demyx continued. "The security took us to the head honcho. The carnival owner. A guy named Xemnas. He threatened to have us arrested. But Zexion was real quick about it. He said that him and I would be workers that would travel with them to work off the punishment. I didn't argue. It was a place to sleep and we would get three square meals a day. At least we would survive. Xemnas agreed to it. We worked there for a couple years. We became casual friends with Axel, nothing special though. There was a guy there who we got really closed to… a guy named Riku."

"Riku…" came a voice from the hallway. Roxas turned to see Axel with his side leaning against the wall, his arms crossed. How long had he been there? "Riku, Riku Riku."

"Axel!" The jovial tone in Demyx's voice had vanished. Worry filled his voice and was very apparent in his eyes. He made a move to stand. "We can leave if you want."

"No," Axel said, shaking his head. "You already started. Finnish your story."

"Um, ok." Demyx slowly sat back down.

"Who's Riku?" Roxas asked. Whoever this guy was seemed to raise a lot of tension.

"Riku is… was…. My ex boyfriend," Axel explained.

"He was a great guy," Demyx said quietly.

"Was?" Roxas wondered why all the past tense.

"We'll let Axel tell you that part," Demyx explained. "When we get to it. Anyways, Zexion and I were making a living. We weren't paid munny. We worked for food and shelter. There were a few other runaway kids like us. Like Axel, for instance. We were there for no more than a year when the position arose for a knife thrower. The old guy, Xigbar, ended up loosing an eye in an unfortunate chocobo herding incident in the petting zoo and couldn't throw accurately with such limited eye sight and was let go. Zexion jumped for the job. He practiced day and night for weeks until he was even better than the last guy. Xemnas gave him the job, no hands down, and Zexion started would be paid Xigbar's salary. He said that he would save it up so he and I could get a place together. But the thing was, they needed a new assistant as well. The old one left with Xigbar. So naturally, I was willing. I trusted Zexion. He was good, better than good. He was great. I knew that he would never hurt me."

Zexion's vision went downcast and he clenched his fists.

"We performed together for a year. He would strap me to a wooden target, very stereotypical, and throw a dozen or so daggers at me, occasionally an axe or two. I was never afraid that he would hit me by accident. But one day… at a stop in a little broken town… there was this kid in the audience…" Demyx voice trailed off.

"It was the grand finale." Zexion had taken over for Demyx, who seemed to not want to tell any more of the story. "I was throwing three knives blindfolded. The aim was to get one on either side of Demyx' head and one in between his legs. I never missed before and never in my wildest dreams did I think I would. But there was this little fucker in the audience. Apparently it wasn't 'extreme' enough for him. I managed to get the two on either side of his head just fine. No problem. But on the final throw, he decided to do a little throw of his own. He threw a god damned little soda can at me and hit my throwing arm. But it was too late, the knife had already left my hand. It hit Demyx in the left side of his ribs…" Now it seemed as though Zexion couldn't speak anymore on the subject either.

Roxas watched as Demyx pulled up his shirt. There was a white scar three or four inches wide running diagonally below his left pec. The skin looked risen and mangled as though not very much care had been taken in removing the weapon.

"They shut down the carnival," Zexion continued, his voice even quieter than usual. It was almost a whisper. "But the kid had already bolted. No one could find him. I was blindfolded at the time so I didn't even know what he looked like. It kills me that I don't even know the face of the asshole who did this."

"I—I'm sorry," was all that Roxas could muster up to say.

"It gets worse. Xemnas wouldn't pay to take Demyx to the hospital. The cheap bastard was so greedy that he couldn't even spare enough to save a boy's life. At the time, Demyx was in so much pain that we didn't think he'd make it. Security just brought him to him room and layed him on his bed, knife still in and all, just expecting him to die. And they would have let him. I sat there with him. There was no way that I would let him die by my own hand. I took the knife out myself, but the edged were so rusted and jagged that I think I did even more damage taking it out than when it went in. I found a needle and some thread and did my best to stitch up the would as I could. I tried to disinfect it with some soap and water because it was all I could find. It seemed to do the trick because no infection showed up that I could tell. Demyx was bed ridden for weeks. And I stayed there with him. If he had died… I would have died too, no questions asked."

"You would have killed yourself?" Roxas asked, he was so flabbergasted by this entire situation.

Zexion's only response was a nod. He seemed to be done talking for the moment.

"Zexion didn't want to work anymore," Demyx said, picking it back up. "But Xemnas wouldn't let him quit. All performers were confined to their jobs unless something arose where they were no longer capable to work. The only reason Xigbar was allowed to leave was because of his eye. So… Zexion… went down the same path. He gouged out his own eye so that he didn't have to perform anymore…"

Roxas looked to Zexion. The violet haired teen brushed the hair behind his ear that he was always so careful to keep draped over his eye. There was a scar running from his eyeball down to an inch below his bottom lid. The eye itself was closed but it sagged in such a way that it was apparent that there was no eyeball behind it. It was a horrific sight that made Roxas' stomach churn. Even more so than when Demyx showed his wounds. It made Roxas wonder, if these two had such scars, what was it that Axel was hiding?

"Xemnas still wouldn't let Zexion leave though," Demyx said. It seemed hat though these horrors just weren't going to stop. "He said that, because the injury was purposeful, that Zexion was still bound to travel with them. It seemed Xigbar was only let go because it was accidental. Because Zexion and I were now down for the count when it came to performing, we instead went back to being stage hands. Zexion hasn't been the same since. Believe it or not, he wasn't always such a downer as he is now. Zexion used to smile…. He used to laugh… I miss it so much…" Demyx's voice cracked and his eyes began to water. Zexion put a comforting hand down on Demyx's shoulder and massaged it soothingly.

"Xemnas was an evil man…" said Axel. Roxas jumped at his voice. He was forgotten about the red head standing in the entry way. "He's done things to all of us… that most people wouldn't believe… Now it's my turn to tell you my story."

~*~*~

A/N: Ain't I a little stinker? Well, at least some of the mystery has been revealed. In the next chapter comes Axel. And it is fucking complex. I don't even know how I'm going to do it . But do not fear!!! I will be done!!!

And this is my longest chapter yet (2,756 words). I'm so proud ^_^


	7. Chapter 7

Axel picked up his backpack and dropped it onto the floor. He sat in the arm chair and his facial expression was intense. It was a mixture of rage, hopelessness, and longing. Roxas was almost afraid of what was to come.

Demyx and Zexion stood.

"We'll leave you two alone," Demyx explained. "This might be easier to do without an audience."

They disappeared up the stairs.

Axel sat in silence, eyes cast downward on the beige carpet. He didn't move and, if Roxas didn't know better, it looked as though he wasn't even breathing.

"You don't have to do this, you know," Roxas whispered. "I could leave."

"You have a right to know," Axel said, his voice quiet as though he were at a funeral—maybe even his own. "I just haven't told many people about these things. Like you said, I'm not really a people person. I just don't know where to start…"

"The beginning, maybe?"

A smile ghosted onto Axel's lips. "Yes, Roxas. Very clever. That does seems like a good place to start. First of all, you should know a couple things. Axel isn't my birth name. It's Alex. But I changed it when I joined that carnival. You'll know why soon enough. Also, I'm not 17. I'm 20. But I'm sure that you could have guessed that part.

"Anyways, as you know, my parents died when I was really young. I lived in an orphanage for most of my childhood. It was a stereotypical orphanage like you'd see in the movies. The roof leaked, there was barely enough food to go around. But I had no where else to go. Though, I assure you, the other kids wish that I was gone. I'm… different. My looks especially. My hair was the main thing, I think. Because it's… different. That'd one of the things I despise about this world. How people are ridiculed for not being a cookie cutter copy of everyone else. Regardless, newlywed couple always had an interest in me, then they saw how the other children treated me, and didn't want a kid who wouldn't have any friends. So, obviously I was never adopted. But the orphanage was eventually shut down when I was 17 because it couldn't afford to take car of us anymore. We were all put into foster homes. The orphanage was better. Do don't I ever once had those people's full attention. They had no other kids so I had no one to interact with. They didn't send me to school. I don't think I ever even left the house. It's horrible, but I think they only interaction I ever had with my foster father was when he would come home drunk and pull me out of bed, literally, and yell at me for being such 'an ungrateful little fuck.'"

"I'm sorry," Roxas muttered. He couldn't image what it would have been like to never have real parents."

"Oh don't worry, it gets worse." Axel let out a sad little chuckle. "He wasn't just verbally abusive—physically too. He always denied it, though. I don't even think he remembered what he did to be after he sobered up. One time, I was out in the garage getting a light bulb. He came home and dented his car on the cabinet that I'd left open. He called me back outside and started screaming about how I'd dented his god damned convertible. I apologized and said I'd work to pay for it. Instead, he decided to pick up a shovel and hit be back in the head with it. It knocked me out, but I guess he hit me again when I was already down because I woke up in the hospital with a fractured vertebrae and missing tissue. Check it out."

He stood and turned around, pulling up the back of his shit. Underneath his left shoulder blade, there was a dent about the size of a fist. The skin was rough and discolored. Roxas' stomach churned again.

"As soon as I was discharged, I was out. I got back to their house, my back all stitched up, packed my shit, and left. Unlike Demyx and Zexion, I wasn't even on the streets for 24 hours before I stumbled across that carnival. It was packing up to leave and I hopped in one of the storage trailers and hitched a ride out of that place. Of course they found me stowing away at the next stop. They weren't mad. Apparently they get kids hitching along with them a lot, which was made evident when they put me to work setting up attractions with kids who looked like they hadn't even hit puberty yet. From the way I saw it, everyone started out as laborers and some work their way up to performers. Which is exactly what I did. I didn't want to be doing grunt work for the rest of my life and I couldn't leave the place because I had nowhere else to go. I'd always had a thing for fire, I think. The way it dances… almost like the way a woman dances… so limber. Makes me hot kind of thinking about it."

"Fire… makes you horny?" Roxas was a little sketched out.

"Everyone has their fetishes," Axel defended. "Give me a break. At least it's not for feet. But I digress. It took a lot of effort and I have quite a few burns from the process but I eventually was good enough for Xemnas to give me a shot. My first performance was a bang and Xemnas made me headliner for his stunt show. This was when I changed my name to Axel. Xemnas said that 'Alex' as interesting of a name to put on fliers—it wasn't one people would remember. And I was okay with the change. I never liked my name anyways. My shows though— I only think that people came to see me in hopes that I fuck up—same with Zexion's shows. I got burnt more than they know—burns of all degrees. But I never let the audience know. I would never give them the pleasure, the bunch of sickos. I built up a tolerance. Burns actually are pleasurable now I think."

"What sorts of fire… things… did you do?"

Axel smiled. "Maybe I'll show you someday."

Someday. Why was his answer always "someday?"

"So yeah. I was a pyro. You get that. But none of this is really what I needed to tell you. The center of this entire thing is two people. Riku and Xemnas. Riku was a stage hand like myself when I first joined. And he always was one. But we became close. He came from an abusive home, like I did, only his was by the hand of his real father and for much longer. He was a great guy. I fell in love with him. The first time that I'd ever felt genuine caring for anyone, even myself. It was strange, yet over powering. But lucky for me, he returned those feelings. Unluckily for me, Xemnas had developed some sort of fascination for me too. He was always watching me. I had to black out the windows on the trailer that I shared with Riku because I was afraid that he'd be watching me sleep. But that didn't stop him from keeping a close eye on me during the working hours. He was at everyone one of my shows, regardless of what duties had to be done elsewhere.

"One day, after a performance, I was on my way back to my trailer, exhausted as always. Xemnas popped up out of nowhere, taking me completely off guard. He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into his trailer. I'm you can tell by looking at me that I'm not that built of a guy, and especially with how tired I was after 30 minutes of performing, I was in no state to fight him off. He got me inside easily and tried to get me on pinned on his filthy bed. I may not be strong, but I'm fast. I managed to make my way around him and out of the place. I ran straight to my trailer and locked the doors, not telling anyone. I didn't even tell Riku what happened. I didn't want him getting involved with a guy like Xemnas. Part of me were almost thankful that he had decided to go out with Demyx and Zexion rather than go with me back to our trailer. Even though is he was, there was a possibility that Xemnas wouldn't have made his move. But then there was the possibility that he still would have acted, but if Riku had gotten in the way, Xemnas might have snapped his neck. At this point, I realized how dangerous this place was for us. I'd always known that the place was risky, but Xemnas had brought me to the point where I was willing to forfeit free food and shelter to get Riku and me away from that mad man. I told Xemnas the next day that we were resigning and of course he brought up the fact that Riku and I were bound to stay with the carnival until an ailment arose to where we could no longer perform, just like he tells everyone else that tries to quit. But then he gave me a 'special offer' as he called it. He said he would allow me and Riku to leave… if I slept with him. If not, we were bound to stay. Of course I refused.

"When I got back to the trailer, Riku wasn't there. He had jobs to do unpacking and getting ready to open the park. I took it upon myself to pack our bags in preparation to run away. But it seems Xemnas was way ahead of me. When Riku never came home that night, I got worried. It wasn't until a little boy came knocking on my door and told me that Xemnas wanted me did I understand what he had up his sleeve. I went to his trailer and barged in. Xemnas was there… with Riku. I thought he was unconscious… his hands and feel bound." Axel paused and swallowed hard. He was clenching and unclenching his fists. "I had no choice. I had to do what Xemnas wanted me to. He tied my hands to the bed posts and took off my clothes. I didn't resist. I needed to save Riku. He did horrible things to me… and I just took it. I felt so god damn filthy. I hated myself for it. And if him violating me wasn't enough, when it was all over, he carved these into my hands… so I'd remember who I belonged to an who my superior was…"

He pulled off his gloves and there were two horizontal T's that ran across his palms. So that was why Axel was so protective of his gloves.

"What are they supposed to be?" Roxas asked.

Instead of words, Axel showed him. He put both of his ands together so that the lines connected.

"The letter I?"

Axel shook his head. "The roman number one. So that I'd always remember that no matter what, he'd outrank me. That no matter what, I would always just be the lowly scum of the earth." His words ended in what was almost a growl. He tugged his gloves back on rested his arms on the armrests, clenching his fists tight.

"Then he untied me disappeared into his bathroom to clean himself off. I went to Riku… I tried to wake him up. I was in no condition to carry him. But he wouldn't. He wouldn't wake up… Xemnas… Xemnas had already killed him. There were marks on his neck. He had strangled Riku. Because he 'didn't want anyone else to have their way like me' like he had, he said. It was all for nothing. I let him humiliate me, let him touch me, let him spill my blood. And all this time… my lover's corpse was a few feet away. He had tricked me, made a fool out of me." Axel's voice began to waiver and small tremors began to travel down his body. "I ran. But I didn't know where to go. I couldn't even bare to go back to my trailer for my things… because everything that reminded me of… of Riku was still there. I lived in the woods nearby for a couple days. I didn't eat. I didn't sleep. All I can remember doing is screaming. Over and over again. I thought I had gone crazy. But then I realized that I had to go back and get Demyx and Zexion. Riku would have wanted that. I couldn't let my last remaining connections to my love to be at risk of being hurt like him and I were. In the middle of the night, I snuck back into their trailer and woke them. When I asked them if they knew what happened, they said Xemnas had told them that Riku was sick and had to be taken to the hospital. I don't know why they believed him. That selfish man would never seek professional health care for anyone besides himself. I told them the truth and they agreed to run with me. Demyx told us he had a brother in Twilight Town that would take us in. I told them to pack while I took care of some business.

"Xemnas' trailer was unlocked, almost as though he were expecting someone. He was asleep in the bed where he did such terrible things to me. And Riku's body was gone. Even now I don't want to imagine what he could have possibly done I don't know what happened to me then. I grabbed the letter opener—the same one he used on me-- and I threw myself at him. The letter opener found its own way, I didn't even guide it. It went right though Xemnas' heart. He didn't even wake up as I did it…"

It was true…. Axel was a murder. He had actually stabbed a man to death.

"Axel… you're a murder," was all he could manage.

"Roxas please," Axel whispered. "I told you this in hopes you would accept me as I am. Not so you could ridicule me. Roxas… I need someone there for me… to help me…"

"Everything that's happened to you, I could accept. But, Axel, you're a criminal. A felon. I fucking murderer! You should be in prison."

"But.. he killed Riku."

"It doesn't matter. Murder is still murder. You should have reported him!" Roxas got to his feet and started heading to the door.

"I'm sorry, Roxas. I didn't know what else to do…" Axel bent over and clenched his hands into his wild main, tugging roughly. "Please… don't go…"

"No, Axel. I won't associate myself with a murderer."

"Please… Riku… don't go."

"Riku's dead, Axel."

And with that, Roxas left, slamming the door behind him. He was opening the gate when a blood curdling scream of agony erupted from the house. Roxas turned to see Demyx, Zexion, and who Roxas assumed to be Cloud rush into the living room and crowd around Axel, who was still doubled over in the chair. There seemed to be some exchange of words, then everyone turned and looked out the window, directly at Roxas.

Roxas ran.

~*~*~

A/N: Ooooh this is getting good. I went through an entire bag of sunflower seeds writing this. I think they're my plotting food. If I don't get lots of reviews I'm going to cry… and then take forever to update. So review pleeeeease!!! I neeeed attention!!!!

Also, I just moved into my dorm (love my roommate. So glad I chose her.) so I'll have plenty of time from here on out to be writing new chapters. Tell me you love me. I have Chokechain by 3OH!3 stuck in my head too .

Love, Shelbs


	8. Chapter 8

Roxas begged his mom to let him stay home from school but no luck. She said it was too early in the school year to by playing hooky. Roxas sat in homeroom, dreading what was to come. Demyx and Zexion came in and completely ignored Roxas. But there was no Axel. He didn't show up for art class either. Roxas almost felt guilty for being so relieved. But he didn't want to see the red head. Parts of him felt bad for being to insensitive to Axel's pain but he the reminded himself how murder was one of the most unforgivable acts. "Alex" was lucky that Roxas hadn't reported him to the police.

The weekend passed.

Monday—no Axel.

Tuesday—no Axel.

Wednesday—no Axel.

He didn't show up all week and Demyx and Zexion continued to give Roxas the cold shoulder. It wasn't until Friday afternoon that Roxas was stopped on his was off campus. It was Demyx and he was alone. Roxas didn't think it was a good idea to stop, but something inside kept him from going home.

"You know," Demyx said. "Axel hasn't left his room since last week. He's barely been eating… and he hasn't said anything more to anyone than 'go away.'"

"And I care because?"

"Look, Roxas, we all trusted you enough to tell us our stories. It was hard for all of us, especially Axel. He was looking to you for companionship and you just left him."

"Yeah well, Axel's lucky he's not behind bars."

"He could have left that part out and not told you. But he decided to tell you the whole truth. Roxas, you don't understand what it's like to lose someone that you love and have dedicated everything to. What Axel did may be wrong, but he didn't know how else to react. He wasn't thinking straight. Please, just give him a chance. Zexion and I can't always be there for him. He needs you."

"Why isn't Zexion with you?"

"He doesn't really want to talk to you right now…. Just, please Roxas. Go talk to Axel. I convinced Cloud to let you back into his house. If Axel doesn't cheer up I don't know what will happen to us or, worse, him. Cloud, Zexion, and I will be leaving tomorrow around noon. It'd be great if you at least tried to talk to Axel."

Without saying another word, Demyx left.

~*~*~

It was Saturday afternoon and it had taken all of Roxas' will to get himself where he was. He stood at the gate for a good ten minutes just staring at the front door. All blinds were closed and the lights were off. Roxas finally made his way up the front step. The door was unlocked. A quick peek inside and Roxas was thankful that there was no one waiting for him in the living room. He had half expected an ambush. It then dawned on him that he had no idea where Axel's room was.

The staircase was easy enough to find. Roxas knocked on the door at the top of the stairs. No one answered so he took it upon himself to crack the door and peek inside. It was empty. The next room had a picture of Demyx and Zexion on the door so Roxas assumed that that wasn't Axel's room. The last door in the hallway was locked. Roxas ran a hand over the top ledge of the door frame searching the classic hiding place for a key. Success, one of the master keys were taped to the dusty ledge.

Roxas inserted the key as quietly as he could and unlocked the door, silently pushing it open. The room was empty but Axel's chain clad boots and jacket were on the floor so Roxas knew he was in the right place.

"A-Axel?" he called meekly. No answer but Demyx said that Axel hadn't left his room… so he had to be in here somewhere. But where was there to hide? "Axel are you in here?"

There was some audible splashing and Roxas turned to the door by the bed in time to see it open and Axel standing in the doorway of what seemed to be the bathroom, dripping wet with nothing but a white towel wrapped around his waist. Roxas almost gasped when he saw the pink and white blotches of skin covering Axel's torso and reaching down under his towel. They looked like… burn scars. But beyond that, Roxas felt like turning around and running as he gazed at the red head's gleaming exposed skin

Axel stared at Roxas for less than a second before he muttered, "Go away," and slammed the bathroom door. Demyx wasn't kidding.

There was silence except for what sounded like a bathtub draining.

"Look, Axel, I over reacted. I don't know what it's like to lose someone like you did. You've had a hard life and you don't deserve it." Roxas felt bad for basically reiterating what Demyx had said but how would Axel find out. "Who knows, I might even have acted the same way you did were I put in the same situation."

There was no response from the bathroom.

"What I'm trying to say is… I'm sorry."

The door opened and Axel stood there, looking just slightly less miserable.

"You're…. sorry?"

Roxas opened his mouth to speak but decided to nod instead.

"Just like that? You completely let me down and you think that two words will make it all better?"

Not the reaction Roxas was hoping for.

"What else do you want me to say? 'I'm sorry' are the only words accepted in the English language as a peace offering. What else do you want me to do?"

Axel sighed in a rather defeated way. He sat next to Roxas, his knees bent and his head bowed. The thought crossed Roxas' mind that Axel was nude under the towel and were the blonde to stand in front of his opposite, everything would be in plain view…

"I miss him," Axel said, so quietly. "Every day, I miss him. I wonder what it would be like if he were still alive. Would we still be working for Xemnas? Would we be living on the streets? Or would he and I maybe have a place together?"

"Or maybe something would have gone wrong between you and you'd be alone. You'll never really know," Roxas murmured. "But at you know he left this world loving you with all of his heart."

Axel shoulders hunched—rather disconcerting Roxas by how the bones protruded. Axel then convulsed. Next came a miserable groan and the convulsing intensified. Roxas didn't have to see his face to know that the tears were falling. He hesitantly raised a hand over Axel's back and let it hover. He lightly put it down between Axel's shoulder blades in a comforting manor. Axel's shakes didn't lessen. Slowly, Roxas starting to soothingly rub Axel's still damp back. He then found himself whispering calming phrases into Axel's ear. Roxas didn't know why, but somehow Axel being so upset hurt him and he couldn't stop himself from wanting to fix it.

Axel's hand shot down and gripped Roxas' knee tightly, as though holding on for dear life. His nails dug so deep into Roxas' jeans that he could feel them in his skin. Suddenly, the grip released and Axel straightened.

"I can't keep doing this," he whispered wiping tears from his blushed cheeks. "It's been months… I need to let go. He… Riku… always told me not to cry for him. When he got hurt on the job, or that one time he even shattered his arm setting up the Ferris wheel, he told me not to cry. But I did. I couldn't see him in pain because I felt it to. When he died… I died too. That's the thing though—him telling me not to cry… I don't think he expected to… to die. Would he let my cry now?" Another tear rolled down his cheek. Roxas found himself reaching over to wipe it away.

"I think he'd let you cry." Roxas' voice was just as soft as Axel's. "Sadness… pain… it's natural. He wouldn't want you to be someone you're not…. But he would want you to get over it. He'd want you to keep living."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"…Roxas."

"Hm?"

Roxas turned his head to see Axel staring intently at him. Then, Axel's hand reached up and run over Roxas' neck. He wanted to move away but something was keeping him there. Axel's touch was like electricity. His hand made its way to the back of Roxas' neck and ran upwards over Roxas's scalp and through his blonde locks. A chill ran down Roxas' spine.

"What, Axel?" His voice was even lower than their previous whispers.

Axel's poison eyes never left Roxas'. His hand stopped on the back of Roxas' head.

"I—I want to get over him. I want to move on and live. And… I want you to help me do it."

Roxas wasn't sure how much Axel had to do with it. He felt little to no pressure on the back of his head. But somehow, this faces became closer and closer until Roxas could feel Axel's breath on his lips. He could taste it. They hovered like that for a moment. Then Axel's eyes opened and focused on Roxas and let go of his hair.

"I'm sorry," He said. "I don't know what came over—"

Roxas launched himself at the red head. There was no doubt about it. These feeling he'd had rushing through his veins in the weeks since Axel showed up into his boring life—they were attraction. They were lust. They were lo—no. Too soon.

A startled grunt escaped Axel as he fell backwards through the bathroom door and onto the cold tile floor. Roxas straddled his barely covered hips and crushed his mouth against Axel's. Axel was momentarily frozen but soon his lips were as needy as Roxas'. His long and nimble fingers found their way back into Roxas' hair. Roxas bit down hard on Axel's lower lip and he felt the fingers fist themselves and pull him back using his hair for a grip. Roxas looked into Axel's eyes for the first time since their lips had touched. They were no longer sad. They were animalistic. The pools of green seemed to be smoldering. A low growl emitted from Axel's throat and Roxas felt his insides churn.

"You don't bite," Axel said, his voice gruff. "That's my job. Got it memorized?"

Roxas simply nodded.

"Good."

Axel's lips once again connect with Roxas'. His tongue slipped his way into Roxas' mouth and he greeted it willingly.

"Axeeeelll!! We're hoooome!!" Came Demyx' voice from the hallway.

Before Roxas' could dismount Axel, Demyx was standing in the doorway. Mouth agape.

"Oh. Roxas. Hi. So you decided to come after all…"

Roxas scrambled off Axel as a furious shade of red spread over both of their faces. Axel stood and readjusted the towel around his waist.

"Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" he grumbled.

"The door was open, idiot." Demyx's eyes wandered a little lower. "Your erection is showing, Axel."

Axel's face turned as read as his hair. He grabbed a pair of jeans off the floor and rushed into the bathroom to change.

"Hey, Roxas," Demyx said quietly while Axel was in the bathroom. "Thanks. Even thought this isn't how I exactly pictured the situation playing out…. Thanks."

The bathroom door slammed open.

"Demyx. Out. Now."

"Righty-o, you flamer."

Demyx left the room, still smirking, most likely off to inform Zexion and Cloud of what he'd seen.

"I'm going to kill that kid…"

"Um, I've got to go." Roxas's cheeks had faded to a light pink. "Mom;s going to probably want me home to, uh, help with dinner or something."

"Or something." A small smile ghosted on Axel's face.


End file.
